Love Is In The Hair.....

Those that know me would agree that I have a pretty laissez-faire attitude about most things in my life.  I’m never one to be concerned that the dishes need to be washed, I rarely notice if somebody is rude to me and I’m certainly not about to get upset over the fact that my low-fat latte is not, in fact, low in fat.  A wise soul once told me not to sweat the small stuff and I carry this trinket of advice with me everywhere I go.  Indeed, I’ve ultimately realized that the essence of an easy, breezy Cover Girl will never be determined by your shade of lip color but your ability to simply not a give a damn.

The same could be said for my sense of style.  Although I have dedicated many a Saturday afternoon to reruns of America’s Next Top Model and can chat eloquently about Tom Ford’s latest collection, I’ve never particularly been a slave to the ebb and flows of the ever-changing fashion whimsies on any personal level.  I really don’t care if floral frocks are a big thing this season, my grandmother’s curtains are hanging exactly where they need to be – nowhere near me.  Just because Anna Wintour has determined that blunt fringes are very a la mode does not mean you will find me running breathlessly to the hair salon.  Yes, I did continue to wear those 7 For All Mankind jeggings until there were holes in the ‘seat’ but what can I say – I just loved them!  You see, I’m a simple girl at heart.  While I love the pomp and posterity the fashion world has to offer I have neither the will nor the want to dedicate myself to it wholly.    

And when it comes to my hair I’m even less laissez-faire and more laissez-couldn’t-be-bothered-doing-anything-at-all.  While I love nothing more than running my fingers through my long, luscious locks L’Oreal has yet to convince me that the process it takes to make them well, long and luscious, is worth it.  While Kim Kardashian came out with an entire collection of jewelry dedicated to tricking out one’s tresses my hair styles flip-flop between the ever reliable ‘hair down’ (when clean) and ‘hair up’ (when not clean).  Rinse and repeat.

Nonetheless, when flicking through In Style’s latest edition I realized that I have not been taking advantage of one of the most available, adaptable and affordable fashion accessories that I have readily in my possession – my hair.  Why a simple braid can upgrade an ensemble from earthy to ethereal, a side-swept pony-tail can convey a look that is rock chic and a messy bun can transform dowdy to diva.  How have I allowed this Recessionista friendly fashion tip pass me by for so many years??!

So while it’s fair to say my laissez-fair attitude serves me well for the most part, sometimes we can all do with stepping it up a knot(ch!).......maybe L'Oreal was right after all.......

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Frequently Flying And Fashionable

There are certain guilty pleasures one should only ever indulge in an entirely solitary fashion.  The fact that you need to dodge group Sunday night activities because the thought of missing Khloe and Lamar proclaim their financially induced undying love for eachother gives you a nervous tick should never be discussed in company.   Enjoying your Granny’s Bolognese sauce to the point that it is not uncommon for you to lick the plate clean is grounds for never introducing one's friends to your family.  That your desire to live alone is based entirely on the fear that one day somebody might notice your dodgy looking toe (and your desire to caress it while watching infomercials) is a substantiated concern.

Indeed, our guilty pleasures can often determine our demise.  There’s the dry wit that transforms friends to foes, the sweet tooth that turns a svelte figure to sumo-style status, the wine glass that fits a bottle.  Yet the most fervent reason why a guilty pleasure goes from great to God-damn awful is when we cross the line from secret to socially acceptable.  We’ve all been there.  You’re three Chardonnays in and your arch nemesis is finally showing a more humane side to herself by confessing her unrequited love for some boyo of times gone by.  You  start to feel that perhaps you’ve more in common than you may have previously realized and begin fervently nodding your head as she describes her feelings of angst and anger.  Before you know it you’re giving her the low-down on your last relationship and for the first time ever you realize that she gets you.  She really, really gets you.  It seems like the perfect moment to order another bottle and start quoting from the tome of poetry you wrote about her brother.  Epic fail.   


I was more recently reminded about the importance of keeping one's guilty pleasures.....well....guilty and to oneself.  You see, people-watching is in fact one of my more favored pastimes.  There’s simply nothing better.  I love the style and I love the lack there-of.  The opportunity to while away a couple of hours judging people who I deem as less sartorially savvy than myself is a temptation I give into time and time again.  One might almost call it a sport.

And there’s really no better opportunity to people-watch than at an airport.  On a recent layover at LAX I turned that frown upside down when I realized that my delayed flight was going to allow me an additional 50 minutes  to cast my eye over the trendy LA concourse-come-catwalk.  It suddenly hit me that I was only a mere hop, skip and a jump away from the glamorous locations that fill the pages of my favorite glossy magazines.  Serious excitement.  I could sense that a star sighting was somewhat imminent and felt confident that at the very least I’d stumble across some fun fashion frocks. 


As it transpired, the depths of my designer label disappointment knew no end.  As I scanned my eyes from suitcase to suitcase I was confronted by hideous ensemble followed by even-more hideous ensemble.  No Victoria Beckham.  No Kim K and to add insult to injury, these get-ups weren't even bad enough to be funny.  It was the 2012 Spring-Summer Drab Duds Collection and I felt no qualms about sharing my dismay with a nearby almost-fashionista like myself.


I was quickly reminded of the fact that people-watching is undoubtedly an exercise you should never do in pairs.  What I deemed as a casual, yet humorous musing that would surely get a laugh out of my newly found non-friend was apparently interpreted as an abhorrent attack on female-kind and I was asked to keep my comments to myself.  It's true, my simple passing remark over our fellow passengers lack of style somehow metamorphized me into a sexist, a racist, an ageist and, above all, a b*tch.


It was a humbling experience further exasperated by the fact I had to sit next to this girl on the flight.  Qu'elle domage!


Nonetheless, I stand firm in the fact that these outfits were beyond bad.  Ladies, we don't need to push the boat out when we are travelling but, it would be nice to think we could at least put some sort of thought into our ensembles.


The guiltiest part of my guilty pleasure would be, of course, if I couldn't navigate a recessionista way out of the black hole that was the blah value of the outfits I surveyed.  So here's Miranda Kerr doing it simple but doing it well.  Enjoy......

[1] Cameron Newsboy Cap, $9.80 at forever21.com
[2] Streetwear Boyfriend Jacket, $42.95 at nyandcompany.com
[3] Jones New York satin-finish Pashmina, $28 at dillards.com
[4] Rerock Skinny Leg Jean, sale $29.99 at express.com
[5] L.L. Bean Signature Mariner Leather Purse, $155 at llbean.com
[6] N by Nicole Miller 'Renee' Flats, sale $34.99 at jcp.com

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The Castle And The Couture

I've always been something of a late starter when it comes to trends.  I was the last to rediscover leggings, I was oblivious to the notion of hipster chic and I still haven't quite wrapped my head around the comeback kid that is the clog.  But perhaps more shocking for most was my inability to jump on board with the hysteria that was the Royal Wedding.  This time last week I just couldn't have cared less about either Kate Middleton or Prince William and quite simply couldn't fathom the fever pitch hype over their pending nuptuals.  Nonetheless, when I woke up yesterday morning and my iPhone indicated that a Princess had been born I became instantly obssessed!  I guess all it takes is a little Alexander McQueen couture to grab my attention.

The Dress.  I have to say, I was at first a little surprised by her choice.  Kate Middleton definitely appears to be quite fashion conscious and tends to veer towards silhouettes that, while not spray painted on to her, show off her physique.  I guess I was expecting her to go with something a little more modern, a little younger and a little more fashion conscious.  That being said, The Dress truly was exquisite and a timeless piece.  The fact that it is so reminscent of Grace Kelly's is indicative of how classic a style she went for.  As you all know, I am a fervent fan of lace and the fact that she encorporated this fabric as part of her design means we'll be seeing even more of it!  I loved the juxtoposition of the high laced back of the dress versus how low the bodice was.  We got to see some skin without seeing any at all and I think this kept a more youthful feel to the dress.  I think the thing I'm most shocked about is the fact that she did her own make up!  If I was her, I'd have had employed seventeen separate make up artists to work their magic on me and I'd have made them all do party pieces to entertain me while doing so.  Another good reason why I should never be given any power.......;)

Not only did Britain gain a Princess yesterday they also gained a Most Eligble Bachelorette.  Kate Middleton's sister, Pippa, was elegance personified yesterday in her custom designed Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen gown.  I've a feeling we're going to see alot of brides trying to emulate her look.  The feel of the dress was young, fresh and modern and the button details on the back was simply stunning.  Click here to see who donned this design two years ago - I think you'll be surprised! For the evening reception hosted by Prince Charles at Buckingham Palace, Pippa opted for an emerald green Temperley London design and Alice Temperley was quoted as saying that she was a pleasure to work with.  As Kate's Lady in Waiting I'm excited to see her style evolve.

And then there were the great unwashed - the guests!  Oh Tara Palmer Tomkinson - I'd almost forgot you existed!!  Just to fill my American friends in, back in the 90s TPT was the Tara Reid of the British socialite scene.  Her crazy partying ways lead to many a tabloid headline and ultimately resulted in her nose collapsing due to certain alleged "overindulgences".  TPT certainly continued to deliver the shock factor with this top to toe cobalt blue ensemble.  While she is getting slammed by many critics I have to say that I kind of love the look!  While she does look like she's going to the Mad Hatter's Tea Party and not the Royal Wedding she certainly has managed to get tongues wagging over her Deborah Milner creation and for that I take my Fascinator off to her!

Another firm favorite was Victoria Beckham sporting her own design.  While heavily pregnant she still looks absolutely impeccable.  I love her sleek pony tail and can you get over those sky high stillettos??!  Now I'm a girl who likes her heels but I don't think I could ever handle seven inchers - especially pregnant.  VB is the ultimate dedicated follower of fashion.

The rest of the wedding was a blur of Philip Treacy Fascinators and dress coats but I'd be here all day if I were to try to go through them all.  I will leave you lovelies with a picture of Kate's second dress of the evening.  Another beautiful Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen design.

I guess the only thing we need to worry about now is what the hell are we all going to talk about now that this wedding is over???!!  Hmm........what's Lindsay Lohan stealing these days.......??!

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Bedazzled or Be Duped??

I’m every marketer’s dream.  Wrap it in pretty packaging and have some random celebrity endorse it and I will undoubtedly make a purchase.  Dita von Teese has a new brand of margarita mix (The Margadita!)?  I’ll drink it!  Brooke Burke is selling Skechers?  I’ll wear ‘em!  Julianne Hough has a new dancing-inspired fitness DVD?  I’ll use it!  Yes, I’m somebody who shops on my gut instinct alone and am never concerned about price or practicality until after the fact.  And when that gut instinct has been pre-disposed to some form of Hollywood hype my inner sensibility doesn’t stand a chance.

The wave of celebrity reality TV shows has had a traumatic effect not only on my savings account but on my sense of self. Every time I see a Kardashian sashay across the screen draped in designer duds I cannot help but feel a little pang of jealousy. Yes, I often feel like an extra from Carly Simon’s music video “It Should Have Been Me” (although I could never quite understand how anybody could really want to fight for some boyo in a lime-green striped polo shirt – then again, I salivate over thigh-high Loboutin boots so what the hell do I know?). It seems like whenever I turn on the TV or open a magazine I am fervently reminded about how unfabulous my life is, of everything I cannot afford and how in no capacity is anybody trying to keep up with me.

I’m already a slave to celebrity fashion lines at the likes of Target, Kohls and JC Penney and no doubt will be adding Sears to this list once the Kardashian Kollection launches this August but, I’ve been slow to jump onboard with the wave of celebrity endorsed fashion websites – until recently, that is. This week, Lauren Conrad launched a beauty inspired website http://www.thebeautydepartment.com/ which gives hair and beauty tips galore. Recently, the spawn of Hollywood’s sharpest tongued critic, Melissa Rivers, became editor for http://www.shoparatti.com/. This is a pretty interesting website which promotes various daily deals from 60% off YSL sunglasses to discounted beauty treatments. Apparently Ms Rivers fervently scours the internet each day to bring us the best discounted deals of all things fabulous and fashionable. How magnanimous of her!

But of course, my favorite celebrity fashion website of the moment is that of my girl crush Kim Kardashian. I fervently ignored the postings on Facebook and Twitter about Shoe Dazzle for quite some time but relented this week. This website is fabu-less. Literally. Every single item on it costs a mere $39.95 and they suggest certain styles to you based on a personality test you take. What’s more, if you invite your friends to partake and they make purchases you can earn style points which ultimately result in further discounts. Loves it! Oh and did I mention how cute this website is? It is a haven for all things girlie – I was putty in their hands. I’m opening my wardrobe doors to these two beauties below and am awaiting their arrival with breath that is bated.

It’s easy for us to be seduced by star power and duped into departing with our hard earned cash for less than top-notch products. What I like about the shoes I was presented with on Shoe Dazzle is that they are definitely very current trends that probably have little longevity. Yes, you heard me right! But, this is actually a good thing. As I’ve said before, we should only ever invest big $$ in classic, timeless pieces which often leaves little room on our credit cards for the more fun contemporary items. I’ll be rocking these fun Shoe Dazzle designs like I’m partying on the Sunset Strip with enough money in my wallet to, well, actually party on the Sunset Strip.

Ladies, I encourage you all to bedazzle like a superstar with Shoe Dazzle.


UPDATE:  Received my shoes - love, love, love!!!!!!! 

Junie Shoe $39.95

Transit Shoe $39.95

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Men Are From Mars, Women Are.......Crazy!

“How do I look?”

No crueler words were ever spoken from a changing room door. Indeed, when it comes to discussing a woman’s outfit men can never win. Whether this question is posed to your brother, father or prospective suitor they are instantly doomed. Boys, incase you weren’t already painfully aware, us women are so persnickety about our clothes it’s best to avoid going shopping with us at all costs. Even the slightest misunderstood word or wrongly interpreted glance can result in us going from nought to nuclear in a matter of moments and dissolving into a blubbering heap on the floor. I firmly believe that I have been called fat many times over. When I falsely accused my recent beau of taking a photo of my derriere one Sunday afternoon I fully believed he was doing so to show his friends evidence of the biggest, fattest ass he’d ever had the misfortune to expose his eyeballs to in his life. It transpired he wasn’t taking a photo of me at all. When I was asked one time why I preferred a Queen sized bed to a King I automatically assumed the gentleman in question was referring to the fact that surely such a small-sized bed couldn’t possible accommodate the mass of my beached-whale like body. He was a mattress salesman who worked on commission. And of course there was that whole awkward experience at Macy's when the sales assistant brought me a size 8 shoe instead of a 7.5 which I deduced was his way of telling me I had cankles.  I was later made aware of the fact that he was part of a special needs program.


Sane, I am not.  But am I unlike any other woman?  Not so much.

Indeed, even when we receive a compliment from a man we manage to draw the negative out of it. If I’m told a dress looks good on me I always feel the need to explain that it would probably look a lot better with sleeves that would cover up my bat wing arms. Words like ‘hot’ or ‘sexy’ instantly lead me to believe that the eye of the beholder sees me as a real life fishnet-stocking-wearing-corner-skulking whore. And God help the poor fool who pauses for even a milli-second after being asked the question “do I look good in this?”. He may as well instantly start walking the last mile. A fairer scenario would of course be to furnish your partner with an array of flash cards with phrases such as “you look amazing”, “wow, have you lost weight?”, or “I’m the luckiest guy in the world”. At least if he’s given fair warning of what the expected response is he might have a fighting chance. Indeed, the same could be said of all aspects of our relationships. At the end of the day, when I ask a guy a question pertaining to how he feels about me I already have the EXACT response that I want to hear conjured up in my mind and any deviations from this are to me, unacceptable. If a girl wants a guy to tell her he loves her and he doesn’t well then, he may as well hate her. And the same is true when we ask a guy how we look. Should he fail to use the exact key word we are looking for we are crestfallen and ergo deem ourselves to be, amongst other things, fat.

Yes, we are complex little creatures who should be loved, feared and loathed in equal measures. The more amusing part of this equation of course is the myth that women dress to impress men. Nothing could be further from the truth. Women dress for women. At the end of the day, when I step out in a red-soled shoe few men will recognize the subtle hint of Louboutain wafting through my ensemble. No man will realize that the delicate pendant caressing my neck once came from a perfectly wrapped blue box. How can they be expected to know that a wrap-around dress is not just a dress but the signature look upon which DVF’s entire fashion empire was built? So given that this is the case, why should we ever care whether a guy thinks our outfit is hot or not??

In a perfect world, straight men would never go shopping with straight women.  A woman can only expect another woman to steer us along the winding road of fashion dos and don’ts and prevent any potential buyer’s remorse that we may teeter towards. Unfortunately in this day and age free time is more valuable than cash and the opportunities to partake in such acts of female solidarity are few and far between. So what’s a girl to do when the only other alternative involves posing that heinous question “how do I look?” to a lover??

Pose. Pose is the answer to all of our worries. Not only is this iPhone app free but it allows us gals to get an honest opinion while shopping solo. Simply snap a picture of yourself in possible purchases and share them with a group of predetermined female friends for fast feedback before saying yay or nay. Perfect. Not only will this app save you time and of course money it might also save your relationship.


Gentlemen – you can thank me later! 

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Take A Walk On The Wild Side

Fashion fads may come and go but, we'll always have leopard print. Like so many other celebrities, the Kardashian girls are avid fans.  Whether it be boots, bags or beautiful dresses you can always expect to see one of these sisters sporting this family favorite look. Like so many other women, Kim, Khloe and Kourtney like their clothes to make a statement. Indeed, for those fluent in fashion it is understood that a pant suit indicates work mode, a maxi dress implies that summer is nigh and a polo-neck sweater says ‘not tonight, boys’. Nonetheless, donning this daring design can be a tricky business. As with so many things in life, often the image we are trying to portray does not end up being that which we ultimately convey. While a leopard print mini dress adorning the body of Kim Kardashian might ooze sex appeal in a magazine editorial, we must remember that those who pursue this sartorial endeavor and then trot out to the local pub often end up looking more whore than wholesome. 

Yes, there are few patterns which can create such controversy.  With leopard print, there is a fine line between the luscious and the lewd.  In fact, it's probably easier to identify  the cons to this jungle fever look  as opposed to the pros (although given the propensity to look like a day-shift hooker in the design perhaps 'pros' was a poor choice of words).  A prime example of the gruesomely garish side to leopard print was exemplified at the Grammy Awards this year.  When Nicki Minaj stepped on to the red carpet eyeballs everywhere started to bleed. Ever loyal to the shock factor, Minaj’s top-to-toe Bride of Frankenstein inspired leopard print ensemble was the epitome of what not to wear and the embodiment of fashion road kill – literally.

 

Nonetheless, it is possible to take a walk on the wild side without looking, well, too wild.  When I daydream about clothes of the leopard print variety my mind immediately turns to high fashion - Dolce & Gabanna satin shirts and Jean Paul Gautier bodices. I think of the myriad of Cavalli dresses we’ve seen adorn red carpets and influences from the fervently fallen from grace, John Galliano. Needless to say, the subjects of my musings are only ever pipe dreams.   At the end of the day, I’m a little more TJ Max than Milan so I've allowed my inner animal instincts to roar with pieces from H&M, Zara and Victoria Secrets.  Below are a few of my favorite things.  So what are you wild things waiting for??  Go get your grr on........Jimi would want you to.....

Zara Blazer
$129

Betsey Johnson Shoes
$124

Victoria Secret Draped Cardigan
$49.50

 

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You Can Stand Under My Umberella

When I packed my spotted handkerchief many moons ago and made the arduous journey across the Atlantic to the land of opportunity there were many thoughts that trundled through my mind. I thought of the family and friends I was leaving behind, I thought about the new adventures that lay before me but most of all I thought about the fact that I was venturing away from the dismal rain that torments my homeland and moving to the Californian coast where sun and surf would no longer be associated only with vacations. Foolish girl.  Today, for the first time in my life, I arrived to work and was able to physically ring rain water out of my socks. Indeed, my sartorial indulgences over the past number of years have always relied on the assumption that the weather in San Francisco is permanently chilled out. For the most part, it never gets too hot or too cold here and it’s only when venturing to the East Coast do I ever freak out and scour the internet for a warmer winter coat (we don’t tend to need them lined out here on the wild wild west). Nonetheless, unexpected weather days like today seem to constantly catch me on the hop. I just don’t own very many warm sweaters nor does anything in my wardrobe resemble waterproof. I thought my flat, over the knee black Zara boots were a smart choice for today but they are now lying damp and dejected beneath my desk being singed by a portable heater. Sad. To add insult to injury, there allegedly hasn’t been a drop of rain in Ireland for the last three weeks. Sadder again.

While I love the fast lights of Jay Z and Alicia Key’s New York City I’ve never been enamoured by its’ weather. I’ve sweated my ass off on the subway and slipped on ice in the fall but NEVER have I stooped so low as to buy rain boots. If I’m to be perfectly honest, I don’t believe anybody whose age is in the double figures realm should ever don such atrocities. My friends on the East Coast look completely ridiculous when wearing them and I am never afraid to tell them so. Nonetheless, desperate times call for desperate measures and I have found myself trawling through the internet today trying to find the least offensive pair of galoshes known to mankind. Why a grown adult would wear any type of boot with images of ‘Hello Kitty’ slathered all over them is completely beyond my comprehension – and don’t even get me started on rainboots of the Croc variety. In my opinion, a rain boot is like flesh colored underwear – it serves its purpose but best kept unseen. For this reason, some of the preferred choices that I came across are what I would like to describe as ‘blink-and-you’ll-miss-it’ rainboots.  This biker boot inspired rain boot below seem like an acceptable choice to me.  Just as a strawberry blonde is not easily identified as the spawn of a red-head so too does this not appear to be in the 'gum boot' family at first glance.

Chinese Laundry at DSW
$44.95

But rain-proofing our wardrobes does not just end with a simple boot.  Finding a presentable rain jacket proved almost trickier than sourcing a rain boot - apparently this is a garment designed purely for the middle-aged.  Wannabe designers take note - there is most definitely a gap in the market for cool rain coats!  Nonetheless, I did come across this little cutie below from my favorite boutique Tar-jay (shhhh!!).      And what better way to finish off your ensemble than with this to-die-for Parisienne inspired umbrella from Distinctive Umbrellas.



Target $29.99



Distinctive Umbrellas $19.95





But if all else fails, just go DIY like this!!  FIERCE!!

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