When you grow up in a quaint country with simple values and honest beliefs, such as where I hail from, it's easy to be intrigued by the lands of far away. Indeed, even places like Dallas are to an Irishwoman, as exotic and foreign as Hawaii is to a Himalayan. So for an innocent cailin like myself to find return tickets to non-other than the aforementioned apparition of glitz and glamour in my sweaty paws it felt like I had stumbled across a genie within the lamp. To me, Dallas was the very embodiment of the words razzle-dazzle. Forget Hollywood, there's simply no glam like Dallas glam and I couldn’t wait to lap up every last sequin and coiffed curl. In preparation for my trip, I began fervently trawling through my wardrobe trying to find anything with a hint of gold lame, I immediately started to coat my nails in only shades of deep, dark red and I quickly learned how to best mould my hair into a chic chignon. Decked out in as much costume jewelry as my wrists and neck could take I was set. Dallas - beware.
Upon my arrival I was perturbed not to see the newer generation of The Ewings ambling around the airport, I was surprised to find myself the most glammed up guest at dinner but by the time day two rolled around and I still hadn't set my sights on a single Dallas debutante I was starting to feel down right short changed. Where was the dose of shoulder pad chic that I had so longed to see?
Perplexed, I decided to take myself off for some much needed retail therapy, quietly confident that my thirst for gaudy glamour would soon be quenched. Now, I'm a cup half-full kinda gal but my level of designer dud disappointment has never plummeted so low as on this shopping trip. Simply trading their Uggs for cowboy boots, the looks were less Joan Collins and more Jersey Shores. There were no shoulder pads, no carefully powdered noses and not a single teased hair in sight. Indeed, the current trend could only be likened to how Daisy Duke would look if she started turning tricks. And let me tell you.....it ain't pretty. Think of every bad photo you've ever seen of Britney coming out of a Rite Aid and then you will start to get the picture. As it transpires, the heart of Texas is indeed the homeland for such treats as Anna Nicole Smith and Tila Tequila. Forget Vegas, what happens in Dallas should most certainly stay just there....
So while Dallas didn't quite live up to the intoxicating level of exoticism I had so anxiously anticipated in the glam department it most certainly floated my boat when it came to getting a great deal. Should you ever find yourself in this area, you must make it your business to visit F.I.G. - the Fashion Industry Gallery of Dallas. Amongst my many great finds was the entire new Rachel Zoe collection, an abundance of Trina Turk delights not to mention Rich & Skinny (oh yes, one day I shall be!!), Belle & Cline and many more of my favorite frivolities. Oh and did I mention that everything was 70% off?
That's my kind of exotic........
That's my kind of exotic........
