The Castle And The Couture

I've always been something of a late starter when it comes to trends.  I was the last to rediscover leggings, I was oblivious to the notion of hipster chic and I still haven't quite wrapped my head around the comeback kid that is the clog.  But perhaps more shocking for most was my inability to jump on board with the hysteria that was the Royal Wedding.  This time last week I just couldn't have cared less about either Kate Middleton or Prince William and quite simply couldn't fathom the fever pitch hype over their pending nuptuals.  Nonetheless, when I woke up yesterday morning and my iPhone indicated that a Princess had been born I became instantly obssessed!  I guess all it takes is a little Alexander McQueen couture to grab my attention.

The Dress.  I have to say, I was at first a little surprised by her choice.  Kate Middleton definitely appears to be quite fashion conscious and tends to veer towards silhouettes that, while not spray painted on to her, show off her physique.  I guess I was expecting her to go with something a little more modern, a little younger and a little more fashion conscious.  That being said, The Dress truly was exquisite and a timeless piece.  The fact that it is so reminscent of Grace Kelly's is indicative of how classic a style she went for.  As you all know, I am a fervent fan of lace and the fact that she encorporated this fabric as part of her design means we'll be seeing even more of it!  I loved the juxtoposition of the high laced back of the dress versus how low the bodice was.  We got to see some skin without seeing any at all and I think this kept a more youthful feel to the dress.  I think the thing I'm most shocked about is the fact that she did her own make up!  If I was her, I'd have had employed seventeen separate make up artists to work their magic on me and I'd have made them all do party pieces to entertain me while doing so.  Another good reason why I should never be given any power.......;)

Not only did Britain gain a Princess yesterday they also gained a Most Eligble Bachelorette.  Kate Middleton's sister, Pippa, was elegance personified yesterday in her custom designed Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen gown.  I've a feeling we're going to see alot of brides trying to emulate her look.  The feel of the dress was young, fresh and modern and the button details on the back was simply stunning.  Click here to see who donned this design two years ago - I think you'll be surprised! For the evening reception hosted by Prince Charles at Buckingham Palace, Pippa opted for an emerald green Temperley London design and Alice Temperley was quoted as saying that she was a pleasure to work with.  As Kate's Lady in Waiting I'm excited to see her style evolve.

And then there were the great unwashed - the guests!  Oh Tara Palmer Tomkinson - I'd almost forgot you existed!!  Just to fill my American friends in, back in the 90s TPT was the Tara Reid of the British socialite scene.  Her crazy partying ways lead to many a tabloid headline and ultimately resulted in her nose collapsing due to certain alleged "overindulgences".  TPT certainly continued to deliver the shock factor with this top to toe cobalt blue ensemble.  While she is getting slammed by many critics I have to say that I kind of love the look!  While she does look like she's going to the Mad Hatter's Tea Party and not the Royal Wedding she certainly has managed to get tongues wagging over her Deborah Milner creation and for that I take my Fascinator off to her!

Another firm favorite was Victoria Beckham sporting her own design.  While heavily pregnant she still looks absolutely impeccable.  I love her sleek pony tail and can you get over those sky high stillettos??!  Now I'm a girl who likes her heels but I don't think I could ever handle seven inchers - especially pregnant.  VB is the ultimate dedicated follower of fashion.

The rest of the wedding was a blur of Philip Treacy Fascinators and dress coats but I'd be here all day if I were to try to go through them all.  I will leave you lovelies with a picture of Kate's second dress of the evening.  Another beautiful Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen design.

I guess the only thing we need to worry about now is what the hell are we all going to talk about now that this wedding is over???!!  Hmm........what's Lindsay Lohan stealing these days.......??!

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Bedazzled or Be Duped??

I’m every marketer’s dream.  Wrap it in pretty packaging and have some random celebrity endorse it and I will undoubtedly make a purchase.  Dita von Teese has a new brand of margarita mix (The Margadita!)?  I’ll drink it!  Brooke Burke is selling Skechers?  I’ll wear ‘em!  Julianne Hough has a new dancing-inspired fitness DVD?  I’ll use it!  Yes, I’m somebody who shops on my gut instinct alone and am never concerned about price or practicality until after the fact.  And when that gut instinct has been pre-disposed to some form of Hollywood hype my inner sensibility doesn’t stand a chance.

The wave of celebrity reality TV shows has had a traumatic effect not only on my savings account but on my sense of self. Every time I see a Kardashian sashay across the screen draped in designer duds I cannot help but feel a little pang of jealousy. Yes, I often feel like an extra from Carly Simon’s music video “It Should Have Been Me” (although I could never quite understand how anybody could really want to fight for some boyo in a lime-green striped polo shirt – then again, I salivate over thigh-high Loboutin boots so what the hell do I know?). It seems like whenever I turn on the TV or open a magazine I am fervently reminded about how unfabulous my life is, of everything I cannot afford and how in no capacity is anybody trying to keep up with me.

I’m already a slave to celebrity fashion lines at the likes of Target, Kohls and JC Penney and no doubt will be adding Sears to this list once the Kardashian Kollection launches this August but, I’ve been slow to jump onboard with the wave of celebrity endorsed fashion websites – until recently, that is. This week, Lauren Conrad launched a beauty inspired website http://www.thebeautydepartment.com/ which gives hair and beauty tips galore. Recently, the spawn of Hollywood’s sharpest tongued critic, Melissa Rivers, became editor for http://www.shoparatti.com/. This is a pretty interesting website which promotes various daily deals from 60% off YSL sunglasses to discounted beauty treatments. Apparently Ms Rivers fervently scours the internet each day to bring us the best discounted deals of all things fabulous and fashionable. How magnanimous of her!

But of course, my favorite celebrity fashion website of the moment is that of my girl crush Kim Kardashian. I fervently ignored the postings on Facebook and Twitter about Shoe Dazzle for quite some time but relented this week. This website is fabu-less. Literally. Every single item on it costs a mere $39.95 and they suggest certain styles to you based on a personality test you take. What’s more, if you invite your friends to partake and they make purchases you can earn style points which ultimately result in further discounts. Loves it! Oh and did I mention how cute this website is? It is a haven for all things girlie – I was putty in their hands. I’m opening my wardrobe doors to these two beauties below and am awaiting their arrival with breath that is bated.

It’s easy for us to be seduced by star power and duped into departing with our hard earned cash for less than top-notch products. What I like about the shoes I was presented with on Shoe Dazzle is that they are definitely very current trends that probably have little longevity. Yes, you heard me right! But, this is actually a good thing. As I’ve said before, we should only ever invest big $$ in classic, timeless pieces which often leaves little room on our credit cards for the more fun contemporary items. I’ll be rocking these fun Shoe Dazzle designs like I’m partying on the Sunset Strip with enough money in my wallet to, well, actually party on the Sunset Strip.

Ladies, I encourage you all to bedazzle like a superstar with Shoe Dazzle.


UPDATE:  Received my shoes - love, love, love!!!!!!! 

Junie Shoe $39.95

Transit Shoe $39.95

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Men Are From Mars, Women Are.......Crazy!

“How do I look?”

No crueler words were ever spoken from a changing room door. Indeed, when it comes to discussing a woman’s outfit men can never win. Whether this question is posed to your brother, father or prospective suitor they are instantly doomed. Boys, incase you weren’t already painfully aware, us women are so persnickety about our clothes it’s best to avoid going shopping with us at all costs. Even the slightest misunderstood word or wrongly interpreted glance can result in us going from nought to nuclear in a matter of moments and dissolving into a blubbering heap on the floor. I firmly believe that I have been called fat many times over. When I falsely accused my recent beau of taking a photo of my derriere one Sunday afternoon I fully believed he was doing so to show his friends evidence of the biggest, fattest ass he’d ever had the misfortune to expose his eyeballs to in his life. It transpired he wasn’t taking a photo of me at all. When I was asked one time why I preferred a Queen sized bed to a King I automatically assumed the gentleman in question was referring to the fact that surely such a small-sized bed couldn’t possible accommodate the mass of my beached-whale like body. He was a mattress salesman who worked on commission. And of course there was that whole awkward experience at Macy's when the sales assistant brought me a size 8 shoe instead of a 7.5 which I deduced was his way of telling me I had cankles.  I was later made aware of the fact that he was part of a special needs program.


Sane, I am not.  But am I unlike any other woman?  Not so much.

Indeed, even when we receive a compliment from a man we manage to draw the negative out of it. If I’m told a dress looks good on me I always feel the need to explain that it would probably look a lot better with sleeves that would cover up my bat wing arms. Words like ‘hot’ or ‘sexy’ instantly lead me to believe that the eye of the beholder sees me as a real life fishnet-stocking-wearing-corner-skulking whore. And God help the poor fool who pauses for even a milli-second after being asked the question “do I look good in this?”. He may as well instantly start walking the last mile. A fairer scenario would of course be to furnish your partner with an array of flash cards with phrases such as “you look amazing”, “wow, have you lost weight?”, or “I’m the luckiest guy in the world”. At least if he’s given fair warning of what the expected response is he might have a fighting chance. Indeed, the same could be said of all aspects of our relationships. At the end of the day, when I ask a guy a question pertaining to how he feels about me I already have the EXACT response that I want to hear conjured up in my mind and any deviations from this are to me, unacceptable. If a girl wants a guy to tell her he loves her and he doesn’t well then, he may as well hate her. And the same is true when we ask a guy how we look. Should he fail to use the exact key word we are looking for we are crestfallen and ergo deem ourselves to be, amongst other things, fat.

Yes, we are complex little creatures who should be loved, feared and loathed in equal measures. The more amusing part of this equation of course is the myth that women dress to impress men. Nothing could be further from the truth. Women dress for women. At the end of the day, when I step out in a red-soled shoe few men will recognize the subtle hint of Louboutain wafting through my ensemble. No man will realize that the delicate pendant caressing my neck once came from a perfectly wrapped blue box. How can they be expected to know that a wrap-around dress is not just a dress but the signature look upon which DVF’s entire fashion empire was built? So given that this is the case, why should we ever care whether a guy thinks our outfit is hot or not??

In a perfect world, straight men would never go shopping with straight women.  A woman can only expect another woman to steer us along the winding road of fashion dos and don’ts and prevent any potential buyer’s remorse that we may teeter towards. Unfortunately in this day and age free time is more valuable than cash and the opportunities to partake in such acts of female solidarity are few and far between. So what’s a girl to do when the only other alternative involves posing that heinous question “how do I look?” to a lover??

Pose. Pose is the answer to all of our worries. Not only is this iPhone app free but it allows us gals to get an honest opinion while shopping solo. Simply snap a picture of yourself in possible purchases and share them with a group of predetermined female friends for fast feedback before saying yay or nay. Perfect. Not only will this app save you time and of course money it might also save your relationship.


Gentlemen – you can thank me later! 

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Take A Walk On The Wild Side

Fashion fads may come and go but, we'll always have leopard print. Like so many other celebrities, the Kardashian girls are avid fans.  Whether it be boots, bags or beautiful dresses you can always expect to see one of these sisters sporting this family favorite look. Like so many other women, Kim, Khloe and Kourtney like their clothes to make a statement. Indeed, for those fluent in fashion it is understood that a pant suit indicates work mode, a maxi dress implies that summer is nigh and a polo-neck sweater says ‘not tonight, boys’. Nonetheless, donning this daring design can be a tricky business. As with so many things in life, often the image we are trying to portray does not end up being that which we ultimately convey. While a leopard print mini dress adorning the body of Kim Kardashian might ooze sex appeal in a magazine editorial, we must remember that those who pursue this sartorial endeavor and then trot out to the local pub often end up looking more whore than wholesome. 

Yes, there are few patterns which can create such controversy.  With leopard print, there is a fine line between the luscious and the lewd.  In fact, it's probably easier to identify  the cons to this jungle fever look  as opposed to the pros (although given the propensity to look like a day-shift hooker in the design perhaps 'pros' was a poor choice of words).  A prime example of the gruesomely garish side to leopard print was exemplified at the Grammy Awards this year.  When Nicki Minaj stepped on to the red carpet eyeballs everywhere started to bleed. Ever loyal to the shock factor, Minaj’s top-to-toe Bride of Frankenstein inspired leopard print ensemble was the epitome of what not to wear and the embodiment of fashion road kill – literally.

 

Nonetheless, it is possible to take a walk on the wild side without looking, well, too wild.  When I daydream about clothes of the leopard print variety my mind immediately turns to high fashion - Dolce & Gabanna satin shirts and Jean Paul Gautier bodices. I think of the myriad of Cavalli dresses we’ve seen adorn red carpets and influences from the fervently fallen from grace, John Galliano. Needless to say, the subjects of my musings are only ever pipe dreams.   At the end of the day, I’m a little more TJ Max than Milan so I've allowed my inner animal instincts to roar with pieces from H&M, Zara and Victoria Secrets.  Below are a few of my favorite things.  So what are you wild things waiting for??  Go get your grr on........Jimi would want you to.....

Zara Blazer
$129

Betsey Johnson Shoes
$124

Victoria Secret Draped Cardigan
$49.50

 

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