For A-List Living on D-List Dimes......

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Frequently Flying And Fashionable

There are certain guilty pleasures one should only ever indulge in an entirely solitary fashion.  The fact that you need to dodge group Sunday night activities because the thought of missing Khloe and Lamar proclaim their financially induced undying love for eachother gives you a nervous tick should never be discussed in company.   Enjoying your Granny’s Bolognese sauce to the point that it is not uncommon for you to lick the plate clean is grounds for never introducing one's friends to your family.  That your desire to live alone is based entirely on the fear that one day somebody might notice your dodgy looking toe (and your desire to caress it while watching infomercials) is a substantiated concern.

Indeed, our guilty pleasures can often determine our demise.  There’s the dry wit that transforms friends to foes, the sweet tooth that turns a svelte figure to sumo-style status, the wine glass that fits a bottle.  Yet the most fervent reason why a guilty pleasure goes from great to God-damn awful is when we cross the line from secret to socially acceptable.  We’ve all been there.  You’re three Chardonnays in and your arch nemesis is finally showing a more humane side to herself by confessing her unrequited love for some boyo of times gone by.  You  start to feel that perhaps you’ve more in common than you may have previously realized and begin fervently nodding your head as she describes her feelings of angst and anger.  Before you know it you’re giving her the low-down on your last relationship and for the first time ever you realize that she gets you.  She really, really gets you.  It seems like the perfect moment to order another bottle and start quoting from the tome of poetry you wrote about her brother.  Epic fail.   

I was more recently reminded about the importance of keeping one's guilty pleasures.....well....guilty and to oneself.  You see, people-watching is in fact one of my more favored pastimes.  There’s simply nothing better.  I love the style and I love the lack there-of.  The opportunity to while away a couple of hours judging people who I deem as less sartorially savvy than myself is a temptation I give into time and time again.  One might almost call it a sport.

And there’s really no better opportunity to people-watch than at an airport.  On a recent layover at LAX I turned that frown upside down when I realized that my delayed flight was going to allow me an additional 50 minutes  to cast my eye over the trendy LA concourse-come-catwalk.  It suddenly hit me that I was only a mere hop, skip and a jump away from the glamorous locations that fill the pages of my favorite glossy magazines.  Serious excitement.  I could sense that a star sighting was somewhat imminent and felt confident that at the very least I’d stumble across some fun fashion frocks. 

As it transpired, the depths of my designer label disappointment knew no end.  As I scanned my eyes from suitcase to suitcase I was confronted by hideous ensemble followed by even-more hideous ensemble.  No Victoria Beckham.  No Kim K and to add insult to injury, these get-ups weren't even bad enough to be funny.  It was the 2012 Spring-Summer Drab Duds Collection and I felt no qualms about sharing my dismay with a nearby almost-fashionista like myself.

I was quickly reminded of the fact that people-watching is undoubtedly an exercise you should never do in pairs.  What I deemed as a casual, yet humorous musing that would surely get a laugh out of my newly found non-friend was apparently interpreted as an abhorrent attack on female-kind and I was asked to keep my comments to myself.  It's true, my simple passing remark over our fellow passengers lack of style somehow metamorphized me into a sexist, a racist, an ageist and, above all, a b*tch.

It was a humbling experience further exasperated by the fact I had to sit next to this girl on the flight.  Qu'elle domage!

Nonetheless, I stand firm in the fact that these outfits were beyond bad.  Ladies, we don't need to push the boat out when we are travelling but, it would be nice to think we could at least put some sort of thought into our ensembles.

The guiltiest part of my guilty pleasure would be, of course, if I couldn't navigate a recessionista way out of the black hole that was the blah value of the outfits I surveyed.  So here's Miranda Kerr doing it simple but doing it well.  Enjoy......

[1] Cameron Newsboy Cap, $9.80 at
[2] Streetwear Boyfriend Jacket, $42.95 at
[3] Jones New York satin-finish Pashmina, $28 at
[4] Rerock Skinny Leg Jean, sale $29.99 at
[5] L.L. Bean Signature Mariner Leather Purse, $155 at
[6] N by Nicole Miller 'Renee' Flats, sale $34.99 at
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